When I got home, I swallowed my first antibiotic and took a shot of cough medicine as I looked longingly into my turquoise 12x3 oasis in the backyard. It felt like the sixth grade patrol trip to Washington, DC all over again. Well... minus the HBO. They didn't have parental controls back in the 80's, you know. Can you imagine the wide eyes of four 6th grade girls catching a glimse of "9 and 1/2 Weeks"? It was horrifying! But I digress. All the kids were looking forward to swimming in the hotel pool at The Best Western, but when the time came, I had to stay on the shallow end, all by my lonesome, waving to friends on the other side of the pool as I reminded them not to splash me. I had the first of now two ear infections in my whole entire life, and my doctor strictly forbid it. At the time, it felt like the end of the world. You'll be glad to know I coped much better this time around! I only cried about it twice.
I'm mostly better now with the exception of the lingering sniffles and mild hearing impairment. So back to the attic I return and just in time for my 32nd birthday next Tuesday. This time in my life seems like a bit of a struggling transition period, but, wow! If little girl me could see "grown up" me, and I use that term loosely, she would be blown away! -Not because of any educational or professional accomplishments. Heck, I still can't cut a straight line to save my life, and I use the cheating method to tie my shoelaces (make two rabbit ears and tie them in a knot). No, and not because I have a super cute husband who is hopelessly devoted to me for reasons still unknown, although, he is definitely both. No, I think little girl me would be most impressed that I have not one but three fat cats, a step doggy, two fish tanks, and, you guessed it, the creme de la creme: a swimming pool! Lord knows there's nothing more humbling to a 31 year old chubby girl than trying to gracefully hoist yourself onto a float in a 12x3 pop up pool, but five year old me would think that was AWESOME. So, happy birthday, little girl me. Your dreams came true! Now it seems it's time for big girl me to blow out the candles and dream even bigger.
***This week's book recommendation: "
The Friday Night Knitting Club" and sequel, "Knit Two" by Kate Jacobs. These are the kind of books you don't want to end! I hope someday I can write books that make readers feel that way!***
I can totally relate...my child self would have loved to have had 15 pets, a pop up pool, and all of the little kitschy luxuries I have now. Though she would have been PISSED that I got fat. lol!
ReplyDeleteGlad you're feeling better! :)
I think my child self would be shocked that I have a child. Once I learned the mechanics of childbirth, I was so freaked out about it back in the day that I was like, "Nuh uh, I can't do that." Well, I did...all 17 hours of labor. And then there is the writing a book part and writing for a living. I said when I was 8 I wanted to be a writer. :)
ReplyDeleteMandy, I thank you for such an awesome post, once again. :) Always gets us all thinking about our own lives, especially good the good things.
I don't think my child self would be too surprised at my life today. Happy, but not too surprised. Now, my late-teens/early 20s self would be overwhelmed with joy. I'm living a life today that my late-teens/early 20s self yearned for, but always seemed out of reach, due to my own self-sabotage.
ReplyDeleteI'm a wife to a wonderful man. I'm a mother to a beautiful baby girl. I'm living in my dream home. I'm surrounded by the best family and friends anyone could ask for.
My late-teens/early 20s self just came to terms with the fact that these were things I'd never have.
So, I guess you could say I've come full cirlce, and there is no place else I'd rather be.
Thank you for this post, and the thoughts it has brought to mind. :)
Mandalin, I love you and your posts! Really made me think about what the "little" Erica would think about this *uh-hum 31 year old* Erica!
ReplyDeleteYou would have been so proud of this 44 yr. old's princess float and inner tube maneuvers today. It was impressive. LOL I didn't know you tied your shoes that way!
ReplyDeleteI didn't know you saw 9 1/2 weeks in DC! I may have dropped the f-bomb in front of Jane but I never watched 9 1/2 Weeks!!!
ReplyDelete1. Love all you girls in either version. Thanks so much for taking the time to comment. It makes my heart smile! I never expected this post to be thought provoking. That in itself has been thought provoking to me! XOXO
ReplyDelete2. Julie, the princess float is the most humbling of all for me! P.S. What child in their right mind would tell their parents they saw that movie?! How embarrassing to even acknowledge you knew sex existed in 6th grade!!!!
Mandy - I'm loving all of your posts!
ReplyDeleteHmmm...I seriously don't know what my child self would think of me today? She would probably just shrug her shoulders and continue playing Insurance Company! I was much too scattered as a child to dream one dream for myself. According to her - I should have been a teacher, airline attendant, married with a convertible (like Barbie's), and President of the United States by now. Guess I took a detour! :)